Episode Recap: No Future in the Past

Waverly is having a crisis of personality. The words of Bobo del Rey still have yet to leave her mind: she’s feeling like she doesn’t belong, that she’s not a true Earp, that she’s someone else. Wynonna dismisses all this as complete Revenant hogwash, as she remembers Waverly being brought home from the hospital. But doubt is a persistent mother-... 

Meanwhile at the edge of the Ghost River Triangle, the Widows have been intercepted by an incredulous Juan Carlo — who could have sworn he put the two of them in a box a very, very long time ago. They’re looking for the last seal, Juan Carlo won’t tell where or what it is, so, as any reasonable demonic changelings would do, they start to torture him...with their very strong teeth.

Wynonna, after a quick visit to the neighborhood OBGYN, is getting cold feet about the whole pregnancy thing. She rushes out of the stirrups, out of the office, brushes right past Dolls, and into the street. She ends up getting a ride from Juan Carlo. Unfortunately, Juan Carlo’s been coopted by the Widows to do their bidding. Luckily, though, Dolls gets hot on their trail.

Perfect timing, too. Because Rosita, Doc’s squeeze, lab partner, bartender, and all-around cool cat, volunteers to throw Wynonna a baby shower — an idea she floats by Nicole and Waverly. Wynonna can’t miss the baby shower! Milestones, people. Milestones.

Juan Carlo has whisked Wynonna to an old timey church, where he tells her she must take Peacemaker, read some magic words, and go on a “vision quest” into the past to locate the last seal. They’re under a time crunch, as Wynonna was able to alert Dolls to her whereabouts before things got out of hand. Will he get there fast enough to stop Wynonna from getting sucked into the past?  

Not really. She says the words, puts Peacemaker and the seal at the center of a pentagram on the floor of the church and…voila! Nothing happens. Seemingly, at first. When Wynonna returns to town, NO ONE CAN SEE HER. It’s like It’s a Wonderful Life, except it’s not a wonderful life, because Wynonna is being 100% ignored. Seemingly, again. In fact, her spectral consciousness been transported back to pioneer times, Shorty’s saloon, in fact. Definitely not in It’s a Wonderful Life. Maybe the sequel, though.

Wynonna sees a lot of randos, and some people she knows. Like Doc — he’s playing cards with his gang. And also Bobo Del Rey, who’s all spiffed up in pre-Revenant fashion. Before he died and was resurrected as a demon, Bobo wasn’t a bad dude. He was friends with Wyatt and knew all the words to his prayers. To that point, it’s Bobo who asks Doc (on behalf of Wyatt) to help him purge Purgatory of its Sheriff gone screwy. That Sheriff’s name? Clootie. He’s a DEMON! He’s killing people! Purgatory people! Doc wants no part of this surreal pie Wyatt’s got his righteous fingers in. And, boy, is it a big pie.

See, Sheriff Clootie, a demon, was the husband to Constance Clootie, aka the Stone Witch; he knocked her up, producing a couple of demon young. Constance, like Bobo, didn’t use to be so bad either. But when Wyatt shoots and kills Clootie’s two children, and her crazy husband, and bury them all in the ground — well, it’s no more Miss Congeniality Clootie, that’s for sure. Constance Clootie, with the help of Bobo and Father Juan Carlo, get the demon Widows — who were having a little fling with the Sherriff — into a crate. Where they will spend a good amount of time counting splinters. Shall we move on?

Back in present day, Rosita, Nicole and Waverly are preparing for the baby shower. To spice things up, Rosita proves her mixology skills and spikes the “mocktinis” being served at the soiree. They’re all having a grand old time until Waverly receives the results to a genetic test she ordered. The news ain’t so good. Could be the alcohol in her system, but she’s more than choked up.

Meanwhile, Dolls has arrived at the chapel to find Juan Carlo jerking him around. What’s new? He’s warned against intervening in the ritual, lest it harm Wynonna. So instead he wanders into the forest alone. But not for long: he runs into the Widows, who are bent on doing him dirty. But lizard-man isn’t going down without a fight. And when he does go down, he gets right back up. You know the saying: you got to get back on the reptile that threw you. The Widows, whose appetites have been aroused by their play date with Dolls, go to town on Juan Carlo’s viscera. It’s a belly buffet.

Back in the vision: Clootie has trapped Doc down a well. The well. Why? Because Doc has a ring on his tubercular fingers that Constance put her magic in. Moreover: it’s the last seal. A-ha! She wants it, but can’t get it. She enlists the help of Bobo to try and entice Doc to give it up. He won’t, and Bobo doesn’t force the issue. The man’s down a well, for Pete’s sake. After he dies, Clootie will resurrect Bobo in order to have him exhume the bones of her sons. Annnd we’re back to Season One. 

We’re also back to the present! Dolls, after putting Juan Carlo out of his misery, rushes to Wynonna’s aid. He claims sanctuary in the chapel, which basically puts a force field around it so the Widows can’t enter. In the vision quest: Bobo is distraught with guilt at having left Doc in the bottom of the well. Not only that, but he confesses his guilt to his “guardian angel”…Wynonna. He can see her! She’s a real fantastical girl!

Too little too late. Because Wynonna is getting sicker and sicker as the vision journey prolongs — it’s sapping her of her spiritual energy. Bobo tries to comfort Wynonna in her sickness, and asks her her name: for some reason (could be time traveling doozies, could be something else) she says “Waverly.” So THAT’S why he always pined for Waverly. Interesting.

Wynonna survives the vision quest, and is resuscitated by Dolls back in the present. There’s a lot to unpack. They know where the last seal is, and they’ve got to get to it before the Widows can. Oh, and also, Bobo del Rey comes back. Woah.