We just showed a bunch of Vin Diesel movies. They were awesome. Here are the only things that could make them better.
Brawn. Bravado. Braggadocia. Vinny cuts quite the figure in Fast Five in the masculine wife-beater, and he's clearly giving The Rock, a "Come at me bro" look. What would make this scene better? If those intimidating litany tats were filled with Lisa Frank unicorn designs.
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What's another way Fast Five could be improved? Here's our suggestion: The squad needs a supernatural team meeber and the natural fit is a Private eye who works with his widowed daughter-in-law to solve cases: The Ghost of Barnaby Jones!
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The extra touch Fast & Furious needs is to turn it into a Where's Waldo? experience while the main plot goes on. But instead of Waldo, we should clearly use Chester Cheetah.
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Across all religions, poltical affiliations, creeds, races, ethnicities; across time and space and to the great beyond, there is one thing that we can all agree on. Farts = Funny. Even more than farts, fart noises are funny and a remix of Fast and Furious with fart noises replacing the gun shots and explosions would be the comedic center of the universe.
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Riddick from The Chronicles of Riddick is kind of a loner. He's a mercenary, soldier, pilot, and infamous criminal. He has surgically altered eyes that allow him to see in the dark but needs protection from daylight. He's got a lot going for him as a bad-ass mercenary, but you know what he doesn't have? A scrappy Air Bud sidekick. He does now!
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One of the biggest things missing in the Riddick trilogy is a strong and meaningful love interest for Riddick. Now, fans might claim that Riddick is more of a loner and that the only relationship he needs is with his fists, but . . . for your consideration . . . Paula Abdul.
