Like Jesus, Only Cooler

The episode opens with two of our gang’s mortal companions coming to their senses in the hospital. And while Dawn is on the mend, things look a bit more dicey for Zeb.

Meanwhile Gaia and Axl have a cozy moment in the wake of Zeb’s injury and on the eve of Axl’s wedding.

Well, this certainly complicates things…

But the show must go on, and the godly residents of New Zealand are clamoring for a wedding…and the return of their full god powers!

Continuing the tradition of shoving the ungodly out of the story, Val reveals that she is pregnant with Rob’s baby. They plan to keep it and pick up on the love that was cut short before he fell into a coma, leaving Mike cold and lonely.

The morality of this situation is sort of murky, but no one can blame Mike for acting out just a little.

Before heading off to the wedding, Axl promises a confused Gaia that although he must go, he will return free to explore their burgeoning love.

All of the known gods and goddesses of the realm gather to witness the union of Odin and Frigg.

But when Axl reveals his intentions to follow his heart rather than his destiny, Loki (aka Colin Gunderson) explains that the contract they signed stipulates that a god of the Johnson clan will marry a goddess of his own lest the guarantor of the contract, in this case Mike, will perish within a fortnight. It’s all standard godly stuff to be honest.

In the wake of this big reveal, Ty confronts Eva about forcing Axl into a loveless union. She, believing herself to be the goddess of marriage, does not take kindly to these accusations.

Doesn’t look like the fruit salad was too partial to that argument either.

And it turns out that the decaying effect that Ty and Eva’s spat had on their surroundings confirms that she is not Frigg and instead is Hel, goddess of the underworld. Joy.

Off of this reveal, Ty is more convinced than ever that his life is not a safe place for Dawn, but since he can’t spill the divine beans, his explanation for his suddenly chilly demeanor falls flat.

Ty then initiates a storming of Fort Gunderson and explains that the provisions of the marriage contract only stipulate that a Johnson god must marry Eva, and he volunteers himself for the task, thus sparing Mike’s life.

Besides, who could be a better match for the god of all things dark and cold than the goddess of the underworld herself?

She doesn’t seem to mind…in fact, their chemistry is explosive.

It may not be the wedding they were hoping for, but it’s a wedding nonetheless

Unfortunately for Axl, the confusion of the contract and his inability to explain it openly and honestly with Gaia sends her running home with her new boyfriend.

So, Axl and Mike resolve to recommit themselves to the quest of finding the Frigg.

Oh, and it wouldn’t be a season finale without one last big twist. Anders heads to Agnetha’s to proposition her for some cougar action, but not before she can pull a total Vader on him by revealing, “Anders, I am your mother.” Run credits.