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Six of the Greatest Monster Battles of All Time
Mayweather vs. Pacquiao. Lake Placid vs. Anaconda. Same difference.
While some wait with bated breath on the Mayweather vs. Pacquiao fight, the rest of the world is preparing for the most anticipated scuffle in history (we're sure). Ladies and gentleman, in a battle of epic proportions we present Lake Placid vs. Anaconda, premiering Saturday, April 25 at 9/8c on Syfy. Yet before you place your bets and gather 'round the living room with wings and beer, let's take a look back at some of the greatest monster battles of all time.
Freddy vs. Jason 2003
Since Robert Englund (Freddy!) stars in this Saturday's Syfy Original, it's only fitting to include one of horror's greatest legends on the list. But enough ass kissing - Freddy vs. Jason was just what you'd expect... Freddy with his razor sharp hands and Jason with this stoicism, uncanny strength and ready to wear jumpsuit duking it out to see who could KILL KILL KILL the most unsuspecting lovers and horny teenagers.
Winner: Jason, hands down - literally. In their final battle, Jason used Freddy's own arm to impale him through the chest. Yeesh.
Mega Python vs. Gataroid 2011
The 80s were FUN, which is why seeing two of the greatest pop starts who ever did it bust out lines like: "You are gonna get it you gater-bater bitch." and "Oh bitch, please! You're going down. [insert sassy neck roll here]" made it feel like we'd done something right in life and this was our reward. Oh, and the movie was also about a giant snake and a giant alligator but clearly the flick could have easily been called Gibson vs. Tiffany.
Winner: BOTH Tiffany and Debbie Gibson and US!
Sharktopus vs. Pteracuda 2014
The credit list includes Conon O'Brien who had his head bitten off by Sharktopus. See for yourself.
Winner: Syfy for airing this gem and Roger Corman for bringing it to us.
Godzilla vs. Mechagodzilla 1974 and 1993
It's akin to e-mail vs. hand written letters or e-readers vs. actual books you can hold and dog ear the pages on (remember those?). Ultimately, it all boils down to a matter of personal choice. In similar fashion, some prefer the fleshy version of Godzilla, while others like their monsters to be of the cyborg persuasion.
Winner: Godzilla- ain't nothing like the real thing baby. Godzilla use the electricity in its own body to create a magnetic field that shut off Mechagodzilla's controls, ultimately doing the tech-beast in. Also, Godzilla is weirdly smart.
Bambi Meets Godzilla 1969
File this under the most unlikely (read: unfair) fight of the century.
Winner: Well... watch the clip above and see for yourselves.
Alien vs. Predator 2004
These two are cut from the same cloth of things we'd never want to meet in a dark alley (but don't tell them we said that). The concept of a battle between these monsters was first realized in an 1980s comic of the same name but the film takes on a different battle in another setting. While the comic book focuses on the angst between beasts, the film throws a few ballsy humans into the mix making for an interesting tri-species fight triangle.
Winner: Team humans AND Predator(s)
Alexis vs. Krystle, Dynasty 1981 - 1989
No, these two are not monsters but they are fierce. No summation of rivalries - be it monster match write ups on a network website, or The Nation's in-depth reporting on tension in the Middle East - could not mention this, the most epic of adversarial face offs. Alexis and Krystle are national treasures and their fights were always very demure, tasteful and absolutely *no way* involved men in dresses standing in for Joan Collins and Linda Evans.
Winner: 1) America, for witnessing such high concept fight choreography and 2) Future female professional wrestlers who were no doubt inspired by these two.