The Nightmare of Friday the 13th

For those of you suffering from a crippling case of paraskevidekatriaphobia, (yes that's a real word), fear of Friday the 13th, Syfy wants to make sure that all of your greatest horror dreams - or nightmares - come true. We've got a horror marathon slated for this Friday the 13th that is going make sure that you're sleeping with the nighlight on. Starting early Friday morning, tune in to Syfy to catch every A Nightmare on Elm Street movie ever made (Freddy Vs Jason doesn't really count y'all, although perhaps that's an argument for a later date). So grab your security blanket, call in sick (you were going to do that anyway because of all the bad luck running rampant), and prepare to fulfill your monthly Heather Langenkamp quota:

Friday, May 13

7:30am: Wes Craven's New Nightmare

Robert Englund returns as Freddy Krueger, and also plays himself, as he and the cast and crew of the original "Nightmare" discover that Freddy isn't just a movie character, but a real person bent on destroying them. 

10:00am: A Nightmare on Elm Street

After teens in a small town begin committing suicide in large numbers, a cop's daughter traces the cause to a child molester who was burned alive by angry parents many years before but has now come back in the dreams of his killers' children, claiming their lives as his revenge. Look for Johnny Depp in an early film role.

12:00pm: A Nightmare on Elm Street 2

Five years have passed since Freddy Krueger was seemingly defeated and the Walshes have moved into the Thompsons' former home. Their teenaged son, Jesse, has a nightmare about being stranded on a school bus with two girls and being stalked by a violent killer. This movie also DEFINES gay subtext (if you've seen it, you know what we mean).

2:00pm: A Nightmare on Elm Street 3

Robert Englund returns as the man of your dreams, terrorizing teens and driving them to suicide. The movie features Patricia Arquette and an extremely important cameo by Zsa Zsa Gabor.

4:00pm: A Nightmare on Elm Street 4

When a teen (Lisa Wilcox) tries to avenge the deaths of her friends, Freddy's ready. Renny Harlin directed this! Also don't eat pizza while watching there's a really disgusting scene (that Dominoes or Little Caesar's does NOT want you to see).

6:00pm: A Nightmare on Elm Street 5

A teen's unborn baby is possessed by Freddy. Talk about a high risk pregnancy.

8:00pm: A Nightmare on Elm Street 

Yes, we're showing it again!

10:00pm: Wynonna Earp

Because you'll need the small horror break that only Wynonna can provide at this point. Guests at an engagement party hosted by Waverly are put in grave danger as Henry remains focused on having his revenge. Meanwhile, Wynonna teams up with an unlikely ally to investigate a killer who's targeting young women.

11:00pm: A Nightmare on Elm Street

Third time's the charm! You know you want to watch it again, if just for the classic "No Running in the Hallway" line: