The Beauty of Our Weapons

Roses are about as done as flash mobs -- if you want to sweep the girl of your dreams off her feet, donate a truckload of guns to her war effort. Certainly when Amanda and Nolan see this gesture they're ready to do all kinds of freaky things to Conrad Von Bach (Ian Ziering!), the donor in question ... but Berlin needs a little more persuading.

While Conrad makes that effort, Datak prepares for his doom –- he goes before the tribunal for his crimes of espionage and is found guilty by unanimous vote. The penalty is death by hanging. As he's sitting in the jail cell, thinking about his escaped wife, son who hates him, grandson he'll never know, and town that may soon be obliterated by the bloodthirsty Rahm Tak, regret sidles up to him and starts whispering suggestive things in his ear. Things like: You should forego the relatively humane death of hanging in favor of being strung up on that torture device called The Shaming Rack, where your limbs are pulled out of their sockets until you die of pain. Seems like a good call. He begs Alak for a visit and makes this request, and although Amanda is sure Datak is trying to play an angle, she can't overcome her wish to see the murderer of her sister die in excruciating pain. She grants his request.

Stahma is not faring much better than her husband. T'evgin has nursed the pretty saboteur back to health, but Kindzi is far less hospitable. When her outright plans to murder and devour Stahma (not necessarily in that order) are squashed by her father, the young Omec tries something sneakier. When T'evgin heads to town for supplies, Kindzi forces a tiny drone down Stahma's throat. Suddenly, Stahma finds herself on the Omec ship, surrounded by sleeping enchanters.

As Nolan tries to bolster his makeshift militia, the townsfolk raise a ruckus that Irisa, aka The Amazing Goddess of the Badlands, is sitting this fight out. The peer pressure is too much for Nolan -– all the other dads are bringing their daughters to the war, why can't he? Irisa hates when Nolan whines, so she picks up a gun and lines up at target practice, but that's when things get weird: she imagines herself shooting Tommy in the chest, and even runs to cradle his head as he bleeds out. AWK-ward! Most of the soldiers pretend like they didn't see, or look around to see who farted, while Amanda clears Irisa away and Nolan uses the embarrassing incident to rally everybody into defending the weakest among them. That’s something to think about next time you get too drunk at the office holiday party: your humiliation is somebody else's motivational speech.

But Nolan's call to arms is not enough to change Berlin's mind: she's now thoroughly in the sway of Connie Von Bach, and the two of them are packing their bags into the war machine and skipping town. Just as she leaves, Lt. Bebe, disguising his Indogene face under human skin, arrives. Now that he's completed his mission of drilling a hole under the town, the whole rogue army can enter Defiance. Did somebody order a siege with extra war crimes? Cuz it's here, and it's HOT!