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As the aliens test the Time Sphere, Nibbler reluctantly informs them that the Time Sphere corrects all paradoxes caused by time travel. This is demonstrated when one of the aliens goes back to yesterday, and spends the night with himself. The old version of the alien — the one who didn't go back in time but now has experiences the time-traveling version of himself didn't have — is accidentally killed by a falling microscope. Paradox resolved! Hermes, his head in a jar, visits his family, and finds that his wife has taken up with her first husband: gold-medal-winning Olympic athlete Barbados Slim.
The aliens plan to plunder history, stealing its treasures. Since it's a one-way trip with no way to return to the present other than by waiting, Bender volunteers to do the stealing; he'll just wait out the centuries with his plundered booty in the cavern beneath the Planet Express building. Bender recites the time code, and moments after vanishing emerges from a trap door bearing the Mona Lisa. As Bender continues to loot history, Professor Farnsworth — in order to make ends meet — sells off his doomsday devices to the Hedonismbot. He refuses to sell his Spheralboom, putting it in a bag and handcuffing it to his wrist instead. It's his sentimental favorite. That night, as the Professor sleeps, the aliens have Bender steal the Spheralboom (which Bender does by sawing off Farnsworth's hand). The bag is thrown in the aliens' safe.
Hermes has Bender go back in time to fetch him his body when his head was still attached; he doesn't care what Bender does with his old head. Bender soon returns with a freshly decapitated Hermes body, which Zoidberg attaches the head to… backwards. The duplicate, paradoxical body is doomed. Hermes doesn't care; he just wants it long enough to win back his wife. Lars and Leela spend a very romantic evening together. Now that Bender has brought the aliens every valuable object in history, the now-rich aliens suddenly care whether the universe continues to exist. They plan to erase Bender's memory, and vaporize Fry so the time code doesn't fall into the wrong hands. Fry escapes. Heartbroken by Leela's romance with Lars, and hating the future, he uses the time code to return to the year 2000.
The aliens send Bender back in time a little earlier to wait for Fry… and kill him. Bender, waiting at the cryogenics lab, drinks a lot of beer. Suddenly he has to go to the bathroom, so he goes back in time 19 seconds, and has his past self watch for Fry while he uses the can. Suddenly a third Bender arrives, wearing a tuxedo, introducing himself as "Bender from way at the end." He's here to put a rub-on time code on frozen Fry's ass. As Tuxedo Bender does so, future Fry finally arrives. Earliest (and now paradoxical) Bender is torn between shooting his best friend, obeying orders and… using the toilet. As his auto-destruct sequence activates, Fry shoves Bender into a cryogenics capsule, and sets it for one million years. As Fry leaves the building, the 19-second-displaced Bender who went to the bathroom just misses him. He spends the next twelve years hunting for Fry, and finds him — older and bearded — disembarking a boat from the North Pole. Bender follows him back to his apartment over the pizza place where he used to work, and obliterates the building... and Fry with it.