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Episode Recap: I Fall to Pieces

Lady Luck seems to have abandoned Wynonna and Nicole when an errand for Nedley goes terribly wrong. Mama discovers Doc’s secret.

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Doc is now a full-blown vampire, having spent weeks hibernating with the Contessa. (And probably more than just hibernating, if you catch our meaning.) Sunlight now brings with it warmth and blisters. He's definitely having some adjustment issues.

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And as part of his retirement ceremonies, Nedley hands over the keys to his secret cache of supernatural goodies he's pinched off crime scenes over the years. While rifling through the closet, Nicole and Wynonna have a fight, and artifacts goes crashing to the floor. Was probably nothing, right? Wrong. It unleashed a gnome spirit! And this gnome won't go home until it gets what it's after, which is... what exactly? A travel company advertising deal?  

Later, Haught is at her home advocating for her own promotion as sheriff to the mayor of the town, Bunny Loblaw, a real crankypants. The mayor has serious doubts about Haught, and her predecessor, as she believes they've been covering up crimes (which they have). Wynonna busts in with official police businesses, and the mayor pits the two against each other, voicing her consideration of Wynonna as as sheriff. While Wynonna and Nicole are hashing things out in the kitchen, that gnome from the shed peeps through the window and scares the mayor half to death.

When Wynonna and Nicole find her passed out, they believe her cat allergies acted up, and throw her in a patrol car to get her to the hospital. While they're fighting outside said patrol car, it gets invaded by two cocky civilians, and driven away with the mayor in the backseat. That's probably a problem.

Nicole and Wynonna end up tracking down the car to a rowdy biker bar filled with Revenants. So's the Revs don't kill the two hijackers, Wynonna cuts a deal: a drinking contest! If Wynonna wins, the Revs have to give up their prisoners. If they lose, they die. Wynonna fares pretty well, until the Rev leader learns that she's been spitting out her shots into a beer bottle (the old spitoon ruse). She and Nicole have to make a swift escape before they suffer the ultimate price, and handcuffed to each other, run all the way out into the forest to evade the Revs, who ultimately descend upon them all. The two do the best they can to fend off their pursuers, but it's that strange, unshaven gnome from before who guts the Rev and sets them all free. Home free, right?! Wrong again. In exchange for saving their lives, the gnome wants one of them as his wife.

Meanwhile, Jeremy and Waverly have found the broken artifacts — a mirror (hence the bad luck befalling our heroes) and a broken gnome (hence the full-grown gnome pursuing them). It really all makes sense now, or as much sense as it possibly can. Once Jeremy and Waverly are able to reconstruct the statue of the girl gnome, a bolt of lightning strikes it, fusing it back together into the wife the gnome knew and loved. Having no more use for these human women, the gnome gives Wynonna and Nicole up, leaving them to their own devices once again.

And Doc, feeling remorseful of how he treated Wynonna, decides to help her mom skip town and find Julian. To do that, he smuggles her a gun, some money, and the ID of a woman that the Contessa used up like a bloodbag. Well, he may be a vampire, but he's still got a heart. It happens to be a vampire's heart that pumps the blood of his prey, but a heart nonetheless. 

And after things calm down, Wynonna has some big news for Haught: it wasn't Black Badge that saved her from the Cult of Bulshar... it was Sheriff Nedley. The guy whose job she's taking over. Nicole confronts Nedley on this new news — that she's got a father figure in him, and that she got Bunny's blessing on her promotion. It gets emotional.

Speaking of getting emotional, Waverly finds the note Michelle left explaining why she left. The hole keeps getting deeper. Doc passes off Bulshar's ring to Wynonna, to keep her safe for when the demon comes a knocking. But that's not enough to keep from her asking questions about his new identity. Once she finds out, it's with a heavy heart that Wynonna bans Doc from entering her home ever again.