There are so few perfect things in this life, but one of those perfect things is 2018’s Into the Spider-Verse, and not just because of Sad-Millennial Peter Parker, no, because everything in it is perfect—including Bagel Guy. Mmm, bagels. 

Forgive me, it’s been… a long time since my last, wonderful, delicious New York bagel so bear with me and my quiet want. 

ANY way, let me set the scene: Peter and Miles have infiltrated Kingpin’s research facility looking for a way to replace the broken goober. But, uh, they’ve been spotted with a stolen computer. In an attempt to casually get out of the office, they have to walk through the cafeteria. Spidey picks up a bagel (sigh) to distract the many, many, many white coats in the room. 

It does not work. 

He plays a switchy switchy game so Miles now has the bagel (SIGH), and Pete holds onto the CPU.  

There are so many weapon-holding lab nerds in hot pursuit and so Miles makes a call. Goodbye bagel! He launches that round piece of beauty into the air and it hits bagel guy right in the kisser. Bagel guy screams out “Bagel!!!” 

It’s wonderful. Look at Bagel Guy! Look at him! 

"BAGEL!!!" His mouth is wider than a human's mouth should go, his stance completely shifted to something on the cusp of a strange kind of dance. His arms flail, and he seems to fall backwards. "Bagel?!" he must surely be thinking. "Et tu?"