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Chosen One of the Day: Miss Griffith from Suspiria
When the 2017 remake of Dario Argento's Suspiria was first announced, those of us who love and adore the original were like, "But, why? Perché?" It only took 18 minutes for me to find my answer: Miss Griffith. Miss Griffith is perché.
Miss Griffith (Sylvie Testud) is a member of the ballet-witch-murder dance coven of the film's Markos Academy. She looks exactly like Edna Mode and just kind of silently runs around the whole movie.
It's mostly a lot of "Oops, have been spotted. RETREAT! RETREAT!"
I don't know if you caught that, because she is incredibly stealthy. Can you believe no one saw her? Can you believe how sneaky she is? Can you believe how unmatched her level of witch is? Iconic.
As the film goes on, s*** gets more and more real, and the situation for the murder dance coven of dancemurder gets dire. But, first, there's just a pretty calm dinner over beers and an honestly stunning assortment of bread.
I cannot overstate how very chill and very bready this dinner is. And it is only interrupted by Miss Griffith noping out of the very suggestion of potential struggle by stabbing herself in the neck at the table like a bespectacled, bowl-headed drama queen.
These other basic witches could never.