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Chosen One of the Day: The space Titanic from Britney Spears' 'Oops!...I Did It Again'
We've already declared Britney Spears a true genre queen, thanks to her ceaseless devotion to the dystopia. But Brit is no one-genre-trick pony. She is truly out of this world, a Martian icon as seen in the music video for "Oops!...I Did It Again." (She is also devoted to specific song title punctuation I must Google everytime, but that's for another post.)
Academy-award-winning documentary short film music video, a hot astronaut (a proto-Astronaut Mike Dexter if you will) lands on Mars and finds a CD (compact disc, stay with me, youths) of the Britney Spears album named for this perfect song. It is then Mars Queen Britney descends from the sky and begins dancing with a bunch of Mars Dancers Who Are Wearing Silver. They are surrounded by Mars Factory Men Pushing Levers For Reasons I Don't Care about and Are Also Wearing Suspenders without Shirts. They chain up Baby Astronaut Mike Dexter so he can enjoy the dancing or something. Control is INTO IT.
Houston, we have a bop.
But the true cherry on this amazing sundae is this: Space Titanic.
See, in "Oops!...I Did It Again," there is a spoken interlude that goes as follows:
Control: All aboard.
Astronaut Mike Dexter: Britney, before you go, there's something I want you to have.
Britney: Aw, it's beautiful. But wait a minute...isn't this?
Astronaut Mike Dexter: Yeah, yes it is.
Britney: But I thought the old lady dropped it into the ocean in the end?
Astronaut Mike Dexter: Well, baby, I went down and got it for you.
Britney: Aw, you shouldn't have.
Now in the song, this is merely a random moment clearly referencing Titanic and the coeur de la mer, which is apparently a real thing a real old lady dropped into the real ocean in the narrative this song, but in the video, the implication is that Astronaut Mike Dexter went into the space ocean, got the space coeur de la mer and gave it to his Space Britney. THERE IS WATER ON MARS, Y'ALL. It's where the Space Titanic sailed! But to whom is Control saying, "All aboard?" Where is Britney going? She lives on Mars. These are the questions that keep me up at night.
More importantly though, these are the moments that precede this utterly bananas interstitial:
Anyway, the year 2000 was great and Britney Spears is perfect, the end.