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SYFY WIRE Marvel

Kurt 'I got the juice' Wagner, an X-Men bae

By Stephanie Williams
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LL Cool K could have been another nickname for Kurt Wagner. The ladies of Marvel-616 and beyond really do love themselves some cool Kurt. His charming abilities make his chosen hero name, Nightcrawler, more of a double entendre once one gets familiar with his very active love life. Nightcrawler in bamfing into all kinds of locations.

Kurt may have a tail and blue skin (or fur, depending on the artist) but that hasn’t stopped him from being Casanova supreme in the Marvel universe. Perhaps in a universe full of mutants, aliens, celestials, gods, and superheroes who can shrink themselves small enough to creep into extremely personal spaces, most characters keep their minds open when it comes to lovers... or maybe it presents an opportunity to get really specific with kinks. Whatever it is, Nightcrawler seems to be in high demand. He’s a superhero with a tail he can use as a third hand. In a narrative universe with multiple dimensions and inhabitable planets, that absolutely has to be a kink for someone. With the recent upgrade to his look in the X-Men red series which features him with a luscious healthy blue colored beard, Kurt's zaddy stock as most certainly risen.

Before Kurt was a bearded stud in a skintight suit he was unexpectedly saving the day after getting accidentally sent to another dimension while training in the danger room. In the first Nightcrawler self-titled mini-series from 1985, Kurt winds up in that alternate dimension just in time to save a princess from Jaws with legs and arms. She is all too happy to get to know him better after he saved her life and her entire realm. What’s not to love about someone who can get things done while delivering cheesy lines and brandishing a sword as deftly as they control their own tails?

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It’s not just otherworldly princesses Kurt seems to have luck with either; he has also caught the attention of nerdy and geek types — one of them a museum curator who just so happens to be a huge Nightcrawler fan. She didn’t seem to mind the brimstone smell he leaves when he teleports which is a different level of someone having another person’s nose wide open.

Just ask his foster sister Amanda Sefton, one of Nightcrawler’s very first romantic interests introduced in Uncanny X-Men #98. While it’s not totally creepy in a Jamie and Cersei Lannister kind of way that these two got together, because they aren’t at all related, it is rather interesting. Friends become lovers and sometimes adoptive siblings do, too. Kurt gifts Amanda with one of his Bamf dolls to keep her company when he isn’t around. The verdict is still out on just how innocent of a toy it really is but when a guy gives such endearing mementos it's understandable that even someone who once called him brother would be interested in him being bae material.

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Kurt has such a kind heart, plenty of empathy to share, and a charming personality, so it's not hard to believe that one of his longtime friends and fellow X-Men teammates Storm would want a taste of what the blue teleporter is serving. He knows exactly when to give the right compliment or to be there as a friend when she needs and in return, she has done the same for him.

In Nightcrawler’s second self-titled solo comic run from 2005, there is no guessing about how Storm feels towards Nightcrawler and it’s a lot more intense than just good ol' friends. Storm offers to help Kurt unwind in whatever way she can help him (while making sure to remind him that she is a goddess after all). If there was any question of what she meant the fact that it was said as she waiting for him outside the shower hopefully makes it delightfully obvious.

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Kurt has some kind of big bamf energy to get Ororo to willingly tag along as Wolverine’s plus-one as they both accompanied him on a date with Night Nurse, Christine Palmer — another woman who found herself enamored with the blue devil. She, like Ororo, also found herself waiting for Kurt to exit the shower.

Perhaps one of Nightcrawler’s other mutant abilities is making such a huge impression on the women he encounters that they want to see what else that tail does. Whatever it is, he isn’t the only one shouting “Mein Gott” when things get overwhelming. Kurt Wagner certainly has the juice and plenty to share with whoever wants a taste.

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The views and opinions expressed in this article are the author's, and do not necessarily reflect those of SYFY WIRE, SYFY, or NBC Universal.