There’s a disturbing trend happening in Hollywood right now.
It seems that more than a few brunettes have suddenly gone to the blonde side. Normally, that fact alone wouldn’t cause us to stand up and take notice, but there’s something different about this color craze. For one, it’s the men, not the ladies that are suddenly feeling the need to bleach. And not just any men. Hot men.
It also looks like this en vogue doesn’t require the carpet to match the drapes, if you know what I mean. (This is an overused innuendo, so I’ll clarify: the crown is blonde, the facial hair is not.)
Sure, technically Justin Bieber kicked off this peroxide-drenched movement years ago, but after Pete Davidson, Zac Efron, Riz Ahmed, and Ansel Elgort started rocking the look, it felt like it was time to acknowledge this might be more than just a phase. And if it is, if we’re entering a new era where hot celebrities everywhere have begun lightening their locks without warning, we need to crown a king of this regime change, a hunk capable of reigning in the chaos, the sexy anarchy this new hue will undoubtedly incite.
We need a man who puts all other men’s frosted tips to shame.
We need Chris. (No, not that superhero Chris, or that other superhero Chris, or that third superhero Chris no one likes anymore, or that Chris that’s in a superhero movie but plays a regular guy.)
We need Chris Messina, the Hollywood Chris we don’t talk about enough.
You may recognize him from The Mindy Project. You may recognize him from co-starring alongside Amy Adams in the gripping Sharp Objects miniseries on HBO. But then again, you may not recognize him at all — because Chris Messina has transformed himself into a bona fide blonde bombshell, people.The new look is for his DC superhero flick Birds of Prey, but if you think this Chris is playing one of Earth’s mightiest Avengers, you’re damn wrong, hunny. This Chris is here to f*ck sh*t up. He’s here to make panties drop, to renew our lust for “the bad boy,” to make us call him Daddy.
This Chris is a rule breaker. Hair color experts everywhere might preach about the importance of matching your brows to your roots, but this Chris couldn't care less. He’s wild, he wants his lack of color coordination to show it. And look, whether you’re a fan of the bleached coif or not, you’ve got to appreciate the bravery, the sheer commitment this look requires.
Platinum blonde hair is the definition of high maintenance, in case you’ve never tried it. The amount of purple toner alone that Chris Messina must currently own makes me cringe. One wrong wash, one minute too long in the sun and this delicate balance of pH levels and fatty acids will be thrown off and you’ll end up with brassy locks that have the texture of a literal bird’s nest.
Make no mistake, Chris Messina is living on the edge with this new do – which makes sense, because his character in Margot Robbie’s DC follow-up likes to kill people, then *carve his skin to mark their deaths. He’s a platinum playboy that just screams danger.
That’s the Chris we stan in 2019.
*To be clear, we’re attracted to the hair and the general attitude, not the skin carving.