It’s been about a month since James Wan’s Aquaman came out. Within that month, a lot of things have happened: The holidays. Oscar noms. The government shutdown. New Bryan Singer allegations coming out and the producers of Red Sonja deciding they don't care. Hamberders.
2018 feels like it was decades ago. But I still can’t stop thinking about Dolph Lundgren riding a seahorse into battle.
We’re talking ‘80s action icon Dolph Lundgren—muscled manly man Dolph Lundgren — IVAN DRAGO HIMSELF — perched atop an iridescent, Lisa Frank-on-steroids sea creature. The colors: Neon. The hair: blowing gently in the ocean current. The sea horse: The #MaleAlly of the underwater kingdom. Male seahorses give birth! The female of the species deposits her eggs into the male’s pouch for fertilization, then bounces so the male can carry the kids while Ms. Seahorse Momma drinks mimosas with Amber Heard’s jellyfish dress.
Dolph Lundgren riding a neon seahorse into battle is the riposte to toxic masculinity the underwater sea kingdom has long deserved.
"Wait, you mean... it's the women who give birth in your world? Arthurrrrr! Get over here right now."