It’s time we talk about the sexy superhero flick that came out over Christmas break.
And no, I don’t mean Aquaman.
Enough think pieces have been dedicated to Jason Momoa’s tree-like frame, his muscular physique and his love of Guinness that I refuse to add this piece to the list. He is the modern-day Fabio and we all know it.
No, I want to fangirl over another sex symbol, an umbrella-toting siren who sails through the skies, parting the heavens with only a carpet bag and a flawlessly tailored coat. I want to talk about Mary F*cking Poppins, y’all.
If labeling the magical British nanny a sex symbol has you feeling all kinds of uncomfortable, you obviously haven’t heard of Emily Blunt.
Emily Blunt is one of the greatest British actresses of our generation, a woman who can hold her own with the likes of Meryl Streep, who can effortlessly flit between Tom Cruise action movies, violent thrillers, fantasy musicals, and post-apocalyptic horror films. She can act, sing, and dance her ass off, a modern-day Renaissance woman with a bit of sass and exquisite cheekbones.
She’s also making Mary Poppins sexy again.
Blunt’s Mary Poppins is full of snark and snap, her accent is posh, aloof, almost haughty. She wears form-fitting outfits, brightly-colored smocks that are reserved on the outside and wild underneath, like the woman herself.
She’s got a knowing glint, a satisfied smirk, an edginess that convinces us all she’s too cool to ever be approachable. Yet when she sings songs like "Turning Turtle" and "The Royal Doulton Music Hall", we almost buy into the lie that we could hang with Mary Poppins.
We could not hang with Mary Poppins, fam.
She performs the can-can in layers of ruffled skirts. She pole dances with cockney-slanging lamplighters, invents under ocean adventures out of bath-time, makes animated penguins swoon with Chicago-themed jazz numbers and immaculately-winged eyeliner.
Same penguins, same.
Now, some of our obsession with Mary Poppins’ sex appeal comes from the fact that it’s Emily Blunt who’s playing the character. John Krasinski played one of the most beloved TV characters of all time. John Krasinski’s beard is the envy of lumberjacks around the world. John Krasinski’s body is a Michelangelo-esque work of art. So understand me when I say this…
John Krasinski married up.
But being practically-perfect in every way is not the only reason Blunt’s version of the famed nanny deserves praise. The actress has managed to take a vain, mysterious, and cross character, infuse her with wit and wonder and cutting sarcasm and make us not only love her good traits but her flaws as well.
She’s a self-assured, confident woman who embraces all parts of herself and encourages others to do the same, to find awe and joy in life, to push through hardship and suffering, to think of others and also, of oneself. She is the female superhero we need right now.
Oh, and yeah, Mary Poppins can totally get it. Any day.