First of all, VelociPastor is art. That's all you truly need to know. It is art about a pastor who moves to China...
Credit: Wild Eye Releasing
...where he gains the power to turn into a dinosaur, using this ability to fight crime. Like I said, art.
But the real star of the film is Father Stewart (Daniel Steere), specifically during his Vietnam flashback wherein we learn the man has seen some sh*t.
Like his best friend killed in front of him.
Credit: Wild Eye Releasing
And his lady love exploded in front of him.
Credit: Wild Eye Releasing
And definitely this wig from the Blink 182 music video collection.
Credit: Wild Eye Releasing
The hero of the tale may be our glorious dino-ninja-priest-boy, but Father Stewart and his flawless hair are the heroes we deserve.