Cheat Day: Season 2, Episode 5

WARNING! If you don't want to know what happened in this episode, don't read this photo recap! 

Real-world Quentin is a number-crunching, office-job-working, no-magic-using shell of his former self. And bored. A slip up in the company break room exposes Quentin to another former Brakebills student. Trouble ensues.

After Dead Marina gave them a clue as to how to get rid of Reynard, Julia and Kady begin to search for answers. During a pizza refueling, they realize that Julia's morning sickness is…

Yes. Julia is pregnant like crazy. And who’s the father?! Is it the sweet Richard or that psychotic Reynard?! And at this point, it doesn't actually matter. It's terrible news.

Back in Fillory, Julia is not the only one who is expecting. Fen is also pregnant and Eliot's gonna be a dad.

The ex-Brakebills-er who caught Quentin doing magic turns out to be Emily. Remember her? Had an affair with a teacher who broke it off, she magicked her face, it went wonky and Alice’s brother tried to fix it and totally niffined out. Yep. Her. She's since given up magic and likes it that way and doesn't like Quentin doing it so - it's a short friendship for everyone.

Look, not everyone is excited for the High King of Fillory’s news of a beaming baby. ESPECIALLY this guy who tries to kill Eliot, and then is thwarted by Margo.

It seems everyone has a lot of problems at the moment, including Penny. Unable to help him cast spells again, Dean Fogg sends Penny To Brakebills South to see if Mayakovsky might be able to help. He says he can, but Penny has to do some things for him first. Like untie a GIANT ball of knots.

After interviewing Eliot’s almost killer, Eliot and Margo realize that things are going to be a bit trickier than they thought. A group called Fillorians United (Fu-Fighters) want to kill every child of Earth who comes to Fillory. Ugh. Time to study up on Fillorian history, team.

Maybe Emily and Q’s friendship isn't over after all. During a late night at the office, a boozy Emily comes to make amends. The two end up even more inebriated doing magic together! Hot.

At Brakebills South, Penny now has to turn a giant table into sawdust using a teeny tiny file. They ALSO get drunk, and Mayakovsky urges Penny to stop trying to get his magic back. He warns Penny that magic is running out, and when it does, it will be a very bad time to be a magician.

Margo and Eliot disagree about whether or not to kill their FU-Fighter, and Eliot goes to visit the prisoner in the middle of the night to try and reach some sort of understanding, asking him how his people would fix Fillory.

Meanwhile Emily and Quentin decide to do one last spell. An illusion spell that changes someone’s skin, but only so long as they’re wet. So Emily performs the charm on Quentin who enters the shower himself but then comes out as...

Ooohh. Mayakovsky. So, that's the teacher Emily fell in love with. Got it. He's working/living/exiled to Brakebills South. As punishment. And she misses him. Got it.

Having lived out some of her own fantasies with Quentin/Mayakovsky, Emily decides it’s now Quentin’s turn. So she goes in the shower her, and duh, comes out as Alice. Quentin gets to say goodbye, it's very sweet.

And then Emily suggests that they do their body changey spells again and Quentin says no way. He just kinda had sex with his dead girlfriend. And look, Emily is NOT happy to hear this and is pouting her face off when Quentin leaves.

The High King has come to a decision! They will not execute the FU-Fighter. Eliot doesn't want his child to grow up in a world where they just kill their problems away. You guys, is Eliot growing as a person? Margo's not thrilled at his orders, BTW.

Penny completes his second task and and Mayakovsky tells him that he's trying to store magic. The wellspring is going to run dry and turns out, he's on to something.

You guys, Fen's a Fu Fighter. Turns out, yep, she's buddies with the revolutionaries. And her ex tells her that if she doesn’t help the FU cause, he’ll tell Eliot how well he knows her.

Julia gets confirmation that she's pregnant and on the day of her abortion, the doctor murders herself. And it gets VERY ugly from there. Question is, was it the work of Reynard? Or her unborn child?

Quentin is sure he sees Alice on the street corner. And he could SWEAR that she says the words "help me." So, he's off to figure that out now.