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The good news is it’s not actually on the market. The bad news is … literally everything else. Ahead of this week’s debut of The Haunting of Bly Manor just in time for the spooky season, the titular manor of legend has just gone up as a not-for-sale listing on real estate website Zillow — and it’ll be haunting our nightmares all the way through Halloween.
Sparing no expense when it comes to the kind of suggestively creepy copywriting that’s sure to drive away all but the most twisted of potential looky-loos, the estate’s listing reads like an invitation to haunt the grounds of a historically macabre madhouse. Ominously, Netflix puts the length of time that Bly’s been listed at Zillow as an “eternity,” teasing subtly spectral come-ons like “markings of its previous residents can be found all over the estate” and “[f]ormer and current residents of the estate report that the home has an airy and expansive quality, particularly in the evenings.”
The photos do it plenty of justice, but be warned: “The master wing is off-limits.”
Tsk, tsk — looks like someone forgot to clean up those ghastly footprints sullying an otherwise splendid herringbone-floored foyer. That’s gotta just be an innocent oversight … right? And what’s that darkened form lurking near the stained glass window at the end of the hallway? For that matter, what devilish deeds are transpiring in the lake — which the listing reminds us is “not for swimming” — in that last picture? It’s almost as if the realtor who set up this photo shoot took some artistic inspiration from The Haunting of Hill House — Netflix’s thematically connected predecessor to The Haunting of Bly Manor.
Fans whose dreams have been traumatized by creator Mike Flanagan’s family freakout in Hill House already know better than to stalk the kind of hallways that hold such hateful memories — so they’re definitely too smart to bite on a Bly Manor listing, whether it’s for an overnight appointment or something more … permanent. For its part, Netflix is keeping its involvement stiff and dignified, acknowledging with tasteful detachment on social media only that “It's a great, good place.”
Riiight — we’re guessing that’s just what they told the ancestors of the Wingrave family, played in the series by Henry Thomas (Henry), Amelie Bea Smith (Flora), and Benjamin Evan Ainsworth (son Miles), too. Thankfully, we’ll be able to get the full tour — with no strings attached — when The Haunting of Bly Manor, also helmed by Flanagan, debuts all nine new episodes beginning Oct. 9 at Netflix. Check out our roundup of early reviews to see how Netflix's second Haunting series turns the screw on its Henry James-inspired source material.