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Credit: New Line Cinema

Chosen One of the Day: The virtual reality camper bait girls from Jason X

Contributed by
Dec 15, 2019, 10:08 PM EST (Updated)

It's Friday the 13th, it's a full moon, and it's the holiday season. It's the perfect day to celebrate frozen Space Jason!

If you haven't seen Jason X, first of all, it's perfect. It's legitimately the most ridiculous thing mine eyes have ever seen. Allow me to attempt to describe: Jason is cryogenically frozen for 400 years. Obviously. He gets put on a spaceship headed to a new Earth and the spaceship is filled with sexy college students. Obviously. He immediately thaws out and starts murdering the sex havers in tremendous ways involving liquid nitrogen and android beheadings. It's great. It's art. Give it an EGOT.

But the best part is when the people on the ship attempt to distract Jason by creating a virtual reality hologram of Crystal Lake featuring two sexy teens offering him beer, pot, and premarital sex. Literally in that order.

Credit: New Line Cinema

Then he immediately kills them with sleeping bags.

Credit: New Line Cinema

God I love this movie.

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