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Chosen One of the Day: Joan Cusack as Alsatia Zevo in Toys
Today is Joan Cusack's birthday and dammit she deserves a celebration. We've made our unyielding love of Debbie Jellinsky known, but for her birthday, our girl deserves toys. Or, rather, Toys, the majorly bonkers 1992 Robin Williams flick co-starring Joan as a robot sister.
So, I'm going to try and unpack this because this movie has a LOT to unpack. It's basically one of those Caboodles with six expanding layers of storage only a truly bananapants terrible movie. When Robin Williams' mom dies, Donald O'Connor makes him a robot sister but no one knows she's a robot despite the fact she was created in the form of an adult woman and just kind of stayed that way and also looks like a godd*mn robot.
Imagine seeing this character...
...and being shocked at this reveal. Like, holy sh*t, the adult child lady who looks like a robot is a robot? THE TWIST OF IT ALL. They literally only figure out she's a robot when her head explodes and she starts asking for sandwiches and Robin Williams is basically all "Yeah she's a robot, duh you dumbsters" in his most casual chill moment of the whole movie.
Joan Cusack: not-so-secret robot. And we love her.