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Chosen One of the Day: Princess Jasmine, the original Tiger King

By Courtney Enlow

According to my Twitter feed, literally everyone has been watching Tiger King on Netflix. AS THEY SHOULD. It is pure bananapants bonkers trash glory and I'm loving every moment. In the documentary, we follow several "big cats" people who "rescue" and "care for" (buy, cage, breed, and profit off of) lions, and tigers, and bearcats, oh my. The most THE MOST of all of them is Joe Exotic, an unhinged Siegfried-and-Roy-if-they-worked-on-an-alligator-farm-fanboat-type (and also a murderer but that's not important right now). 


My not-so-hot take: no one should own a tiger. Except for Princess Jasmine. For her, I will make an exception.

Look, Jasmine lives in a proper palace with plenty of room for her boy Rajah to lounge and roam and eat people's underwear. Should he be in the wild, free as a bird-tiger? Sure, BUT SECOND BEST IS A DAMN PALACE, getting snugz from your best princess friend and totally c-blocking her every time Prince Ali comes a callin'. Rajah is the best opposite-of-wingman. FOR HE HAS THE WINGS OF A BIRD TIGER.

Anyway, Joe Exotic is behind bars but Jas Exotic is out there thriving. Also, you're welcome for this cursed image.