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RoboCop is KFC's new Colonel and he'll kill you if you ask about the secret recipe

By Josh Weiss
RoboCop KFC

Secret recipe thieves, beware! There's a new protector of KFC's 11 herbs and spices and his name is RoboCop. No, you're not losing your marbles, dear reader.

Today, the famous fried chicken chain revealed that its new Colonel Sanders-inspired spokesperson would be none other than the main character of Paul Verhoeven's 1987 sci-fi classic. Not only that, but he took a highly-encrypted copy of the recipe to the Banhof Data Center in Stockholm, Sweden, which is capable of surviving the effects of a detonated nuclear bomb.

Check out the introductory video below. It doesn't say this outright, but we have a strong suspicion that RoboCop was purchased at a going-out-of-business auction for Omni Consumer Products.

KFC | KFC upgrades security of the Secret Recipe | Colonel Robocop

KFC | Colonel RoboCop is here | Colonel Robocop

KFC also rolled out a slew of ads where RoboCop satiates peoples' hunger for breaded and fried fowl. Re-creating the seedy and dystopian streets of Detroit from the first movie, the following spot finds our mechanized chicken-hawking cyborg flinging boneless pieces of poultry into the mouth of a fella whose only crime is hunger.

Again we're not sure on this, but it also sounds like KFC may have gotten Peter Weller to reprise his iconic character, if not in costume, then in voice. Weller did not immediately respond to SYFY WIRE's request for comment. 

KFC | Hungry Boy | Colonel RoboCop

In the next spot, RoboCop enters the room holding a $20 "Fill Up" meal for a family watching his movie. They tell him to hold on a second, but he then gives them an ultimatum: they "have 10 seconds to comply." Just before he breaks out the big guns, the family shoots off the couch to enjoy the meal.

Moral of the story, people: Never say no to RoboCop.

KFC | Countdown | Colonel RoboCop

The final ad underscores RoboCop's Prime Directive: "Protect Secret Recipe."

While at a dinner table laden with a KFC feats, someone asks him about the details to which he responds, "If I told you, I'd have to kill you."

Everyone at the table goes silent until RoboCop stars giving off a monotone laugh, reeling everyone into the hilarity of the moment. Then, he suddenly stops and gives the camera deadpan stare as an ominous '80s synth score plays in the background. 

KFC | Secret Recipe | Colonel Robocop

After the critical failure of the RoboCop remake in 2014, MGM decided to make a sequel to the original franchise with director Neill Blomkamp (District 9).

The new movie will be titled RoboCop Returns and written and produced by original creators, Ed Neumeier and Michael Miner. Beyond that, there is no casting or release news just yet.