Henry Cavill Geralt bath The Witcher
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Credit: Netflix

Chosen One of the Day: Geralt of Rivia, a Very Clean Boy

Contributed by
Jan 21, 2020, 10:33 AM EST

When I watched Netflix’s series, The Witcher, I hadn’t played the games or read any of the books, I’m just a nerd for trash fantasy and Henry Cavill in trash fantasy and so this piqued my interest. I did notice the show’s penchant for putting Cavill in a bath, it’s only eight episodes but there are two sequences in which he is bathing. I chocked that up to Hello, Henry Cavill is an attractive human the producers need this. Anyway, I watched the show, I enjoyed it, and then the Playstation store had a sale on the game so I bought Witcher 3: Wild Hunt. 

I found the bath inspo. Bathspo? 

There are so many baths. The game opens with Geralt in a tub. I mean after the prologue. And I get it, almost everyone you interact it with is a disgusting, dirty representation of a time when bathing was seen as optional. But Geralt is a Very Clean Boy. 

Credit: CD Projekt

Later, Geralt watches someone else take a bath (this game also has a very hilarious commitment to Video Game Boobs on a level I’ve never seen before). 

Credit: CD Projekt

Even later, Geralt literally has to go to an interview in a bath house, where he is, of course, expected to get real naked real fast, and then have a fight in a bath house in his towel. 

Credit: CD Projekt

Credit: CD Projekt

That’s about as far into the game as I’ve gotten, but I fully expect that there will be even more scenes of Geralt-Getting-Clean — although I am lamenting the loss of Jaskier because it means I’m never going to get this specific scene in the game and that is a damn shame.

Give me a Jaskier DLC for Witcher 3, a game that came out in 2016, this is not an absurd request. Thank you. 

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