Chosen One of the Day: JD's Dr. Acula movie on Scrubs

Scrubs is not strictly a genre sitcom. Sure, we have plenty of JD’s daydreams to lurk through for genre-adjacent moments, but on the whole, it’s about a bunch of doctors at a hospital. Except… in the sixth episode of the fifth season, we find out that JD wrote a vampire movie called Dr. Acula. The Janitor mentions vampire doctors and JD, walking by, thinks, “Vampire doctors? How did he hear about my screenplay?”

Seventeen episodes later, we see scenes from the movie and some behind the scenes struggles of the making. Look, a vampire testing a patient’s blood by sucking it out, spitting into a vial, and saying “You know, you taste a little anemic” is hilarious.

If Eliot and Turk’s reactions are any indication, the screenplay had the potential to be a big hit. And I have no reason to distrust Chris Turk’s taste.

There’s also a particular genius in writing the Janitor’s screen name as Rotinaj when Alucard has been used as an associated Dracula character for decades. It is my great regret that the Janitor incinerated the script and probably recorded over the only available footage — stored at the time on a single VHS tape. Alas! Give me my Dr. Acula movie, Bill Lawrence!