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SYFY WIRE Chosen One of The Day

Chosen One of the Day: David Ryder (aka Blast Hardcheese) from Space Mutiny

By Courtney Enlow

Look, if we're being honest, I had to search to see if I'd done this one. And, trust me, it wasn't easy. For Space Mutiny's David Ryder, the subject of Mystery Science Theater 3000 Episode 820, is a man of many times. Courtesy of my long-time favorite website, here is the full list of names by which you might better know David Ryder:

Slab Bulkhead
Fridge Largemeat
Punt Speedchunk
Butch Deadlift
Bold Bigflank
Splint Chesthair
Flint Ironstag
Bolt Vanderhuge
Thick McRunfast
Blast Hardcheese
Buff Drinklots
Trunk Slamchest
Fist Rockbone
Stump Beefknob
Smash Lampjaw
Punch Rockgroin
Buck Plankchest
Stump Chunkman
Dirk Hardpec
Rip Steakface
Slate Slabrock
Crud Bonemeal
Brick Hardmeat
Whip Slagcheek
Punch Side-iron
Gristle McThornbody
Slate Fistcrunch
Buff Hardback
Blast Thickneck
Crunch Buttsteak
Slab Squatthrust
Lump Beefbroth
Touch Rustrod
Reef Blastbody
Big McLargehuge
Smoke Manmuscle
Beat Punchbeef
Hack Blowfist
Roll Fizzlebeef
And, of course, Bob Johnson.

And on any given day, I might have used one of those names. There's no way to tell. It's like Sliding Doors but with Beef Chonkboy in a D-grade sci-fi flick.

But David Ryder is MORE. I mean, he's not. Forget I said that. But Reb Brown who played the character, is married to his co-star Cisse Cameron who played Debbie Reynolds Lea so this movie at the very least portrays LOVE. SPACE LOVE. 

Forget love though. You came here for Pork Jackknife. Quads O'Glutesweat. Shred McDeltoid. And it's what he deserves. But now he's gotta go. BYE, OX BULKHAMMER!

Space Mutiny