The third episode of Amazon’s miniseries Good Omens takes almost 30 minutes to get to the title sequence. That’s because it’s mostly concerned with giving us a hella beautiful, slowburn romantic history of the two leading characters: the demon Crowley and the angel Aziraphale.
We get literally thousands of years worth of a relationship — one that started with a mutual understanding and acquaintanceship, eventually evolving into an equally beneficial partnership, and then to one of friendship and respect.
It starts off in 4004 BC at the Garden of Eden. Aziraphale’s given up his flaming sword and God wants to know where it is. Fast forward 1000 years: Mesopotamia 3004 BC. Crowley and Aziraphale are at Noah’s ark, and our resident accidental-Demon’s incredulous that everybody’s got to be drowned, and even though he can’t say it, Aziraphale seems a bit uncomfortable with it himself. The two of them already have a rapport! They haven’t seen each other in a thousand years but it doesn’t seem to have affected their chemistry at all.
33 AD, Galgoa, the Crucifixion. Again, Crowley derides the decisions of the Almighty and Aziraphale is uncomfortable but still maintaining a distance between his duty and his feelings.
Rome, 41 AD. Finally! Less than a decade between meetings! Azariphale is pleased as punch to find Crowley at the same bar. The angel straight up tries to ask him on a date, I swear. This is the beginning of the beginning.
The Kingdom of Wessex, 537 AD. The actual beginning. Crowley and Aziraphale realize their actions are just...canceling each other out. Crowley recommends pretending to do the work, and Azzie scoffs, “My dear fellow,” and my heart melted a little. He disagrees with Crowley’s suggestion. Or does he?
The Globe Theater, 1601. They’re on a date, I mean, basically a date watching a version of Shakespeare’s Hamlet together. They discuss the fact that they’re both meant to go to Scotland, which does very much seem like a waste of time. Crowley suggests that just one of them goes and does both the good and the wicked. “We’ve done it before. Dozens of times now." THEY’VE DONE IT BEFORE. They have an “agreement.” And Aziraphale’s fear of discovery here is for Crowley! “If hell finds out,” he says, “they’ll destroy you.”
Paris, 1793. At the height of the French Revolution, Aziraphale goes and gets himself imprisoned for the want of a good crêpe. Crowley comes and saves him and they go have a meal together. Friends, do you see? Do you see?????
St. James Park, 1862. Crowley asks his friend for some holy water so he can destroy himself rather than submit to hell should their ruse be found out. Aziraphale refuses, and then calls their relationship fraternizing. It’s our boo boo’s first fight. “I don’t need you,” Crowley spits as Azzie walks away. He turns long enough to say “Well, and the feeling is mutual, obviously.”
London, 1941. Crowley saves Aziraphale again and it’s very cute because he showed up wanting to save Aziraphale the indignity of embarrassment. But the best part is when he saves Aziraphale’s bag of books from the bombed church because he knows he’ll want them. As he hands the bag to Aziraphale, the a romantic tune swells. Y’all, this is true love.
Soho, London, 1967. Aziraphale is still terrified of Crowley having holy water, but rather than have his man risk it all saving a church, our angel says, “But I can’t have you risk your life, not even for something dangerous.” And then he hands him a thermos of holy water!! Even though he disagrees!! “After everything you said. Should I say thank you?” Nope, but “perhaps one day we could, I don’t know, go for a picnic. Dine at the Ritz.”
“I’ll give you a lift, anywhere you want to go.”
“You go to fast for me, Crowley.” Honestly, Michael Sheen’s delivery here is heartbreaking. He’s not ready. But as the rest of the series evidenced, he will be.