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Credit: HBO

Chosen One of the Day: Gendry’s poker

Contributed by
Apr 26, 2019

When we think about Game of Thrones sex symbols we think of Jon Snow, our Emo-baby with his mop of curls, or the gone-too-soon Khal Drogo with his oiled chest and long-ass braid, or the brief f*ckboi that was Daario and his perfectly-toned ass.

But it’s time to add another hunk to Westeros’ most eligible bachelor's list — side note, anyone who wants to create a GoT-themed The Bachelor, I’m all in.

That’s right, our favorite smithy, who spent years rowing along in his tiny boat, sculpting his biceps for this very moment, has finally joined the ranks of Seven Kingdom bros we’d like to bone.

(A disclaimer and apology to Joe Dempsie – we’re about to objectify the hell out of you my dude.)

When we first met Gendry in Season 2 of Game of Thrones, the blacksmith apprentice was a side-piece. He was handsome, sure, but he was in perpetual need of a bath and he talked about c*cks a worrisome amount. Watching him be stripped and fed upon by leeches didn’t really up his bang-factor, and when Ser Davos sent him out to sea we thought that might be the end of the poor Baratheon bastard on this show.

And then Season 7 happened and Gendry showed up, still sweaty and dirty and in need of basic hygiene lessons but more chiseled than Michelangelo, and hotter than the damn forge he’d been hiding at in King’s Landing.

We thought then that this would be a quickie for our sweet m’ladying piece of man-meat. Maybe he’d die beyond the wall, get torn apart by White Walkers — we didn’t get attached because we know better by now. Plus, he was always fully-clothed which was so frustrating.

But David Benioff and D.B. Weiss seem to know what drops our panties better than we do ourselves — a truly terrifying thought — because if Season 8 has been anything, it’s a showcase for the absolute glow-up of one Gendry Baratheon. Or Waters. Oh, what the hell, a guy this hot deserves a last name, people!

And Dempsie is chewing up the precision screen time he’s being given.

He’s scowling at the camera, brooding by the fire, melding hot metals in a deep v-neck that gives us just a sliver of skin. He knows we want to wash it touch it, and he’s teasing the hell out of us. He’s also getting Arya Stark all hot and bothered which means we’ve been treated to a sex scene between the pair that both played out our dominatrix fantasies and made Gendry even more manly than he already was.

So, a goblet raised to you, Gendry the Blacksmith.

You’re extra AF, sticking your poker in places you know you shouldn’t, causing this show to be too steamy to handle. We’d let you make our “steel” sing any day.

Joe-Dempsie-Gendry

Credit: HBO

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