Valar morghulis (“All men must die,” for those of you who don’t speak High Valyrian) just got real in the penultimate episode of Game of Thrones. So real, Bierut Films had to rap about it in our weekly wrap-up that's really a rap-up. See what they did there?
**SPOILER WARNING: If you haven't seen Game of Thrones Season 8, Episode 5, "The Bells," do not watch this video rap up until you’ve seen the episode. You might go up in flames.**
In case you didn’t realize it from all the fire and screaming and blood and eyes getting gouged out and castles crashing down, a lot of people died in this episode. At least they’re all fictional people the writers killed off, so a rap to the tune of innocents screaming doesn't make anyone a horrible person.
So let’s address the dragon in the room. Is Daenerys really a born villain, or does her gargantuan sense of entitlement as a royal brat blind her to the fact that she’s burning down a city that Cersei already seemingly surrendered to her? How starved for power do you have to be to do that?
Either way, those incriminating shots of her face as she watches King’s Landing burn and crumble can’t be good for her reputation. Too bad there are no paparazzi in Westeros.
Another pressing question: If Miss Dragon Queen hoards so much gold and loves her scaly children so much, why couldn’t she have outfitted them with dragon armor? Like, all the way back before the Night King got Viserion?
Then we have the unfinished business between Dany and Jon Snow. When it comes to exactly how close you want to get to people who are related to you, what is appropriate by Stark and Targaryen standards is broken down for you in rap. It’s easier to remember that way. Not that you'll necessarily want to remember it, but now you know.
Want to see how Cleganebowl 2019 breaks down and what we think is going to happen in next Sunday's season and series finale, which may or may not involve more death? Watch the episode first. Then watch the video.
This article was contributed to by Elizabeth Rayne.