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Soon will you rest, yes…but hopefully not forever sleep. When it’s time to turn out the light and get some shut-eye, Disney’s hoping you won’t have to force yourself off to never-never land — at least, not as long as Yoda’s waiting at the other end of a phone line to soothingly guide you there with some gentle bedtime affirmations.
Enlisting the all-star help of Yoda, Spider-Man, Elsa, and more Disney standouts, the Mouse House has just brought back its Disney Bedtime Hotline, a toll-free way to hear from your movie pals — be they cartoons, friendly neighborhood heroes, or Force ghosts from a galaxy far, far away — before signing off for the day.
Aimed squarely at kids but entertaining in its own right for grown-ups, the hotline is returning for a limited time after first debuting last year with a dial-a-buddy bedtime messaging service that featured the essentials: Mickey, Minnie, Donald, Daisy, and Goofy (a soothing voice if ever we’ve heard one). This time out, Disney’s reaching deeper into its franchise playbook, recruiting characters from Marvel, Lucasfilm, and Pixar.
Calling the hotline at 1-877-7-MICKEY presents you with a menu where you can number-select from among a sandman-approved list of Disney greetings.
**SPOILER WARNING! (If there is such a thing as far as goodnight wishes are concerned.)
Some highlights include:
- Mickey, who tells you about his day at the dog park, reminds you to brush your teeth, yawns sleepily, and then sends you off with a swell-sounding “I hope ya have some really fun dreams!”
- An amazingly Tom Holland-like Spidey voice, who recounts the web-slinger’s busy day of saving the neighborhood (including a cat-in-a-tree rescue) before confessing that “sometimes it takes a lot outta me, so I gotta get some sleep. You probably should too.”
- Toy Story’s Woody, who wakes the whole cul-de-sac with a billowing “Hey-howdy hey, partner!” before explaining that everything in your bedroom has to look just right in case Bonnie peeks her head in: “Now listen up, okay?…Let’s make sure the room is set, okay? Night light on? Check! All the toys in their places? Check!”
- Yoda, who gets the best sleepytime script by far. Grousing at “adventure — Hmph!” and “excitement — Hmph!”, the sage Jedi master pulls liberally from his decades-long list of bankable phrases, cooing that “the day draws to a close for young Padawan” and advising you to “close your eyes and reach out with your feelings” so that you can “feel the Force surround you — like a blanket, it is.”
If you call the hotline, you can bypass a lengthy marketing menu and skip straight to the bedtime stuff by pressing “2” as soon as the line picks up. Or, if you’re down to hear about a kid-centric Disney Store tie-in, wait through the menu, where you can sign up for the “Disney Bedtime Adventure Box” — a subscription-based, monthly shipment of dreamy Disney goodies including stickers, pajamas, and story books.
The service is available only through the end of the month, meaning you've got about two weeks to work your way through all six character greetings. Oh, and rest easy, parents: Yoda deftly dodges the whole “forever sleep” thing. Even if your kids have seen him say his farewells in Return of the Jedi, phone Yoda won’t confuse them about just how long a nap they’re actually agreeing to — so tuck them in for a good night’s rest. Earned it, they have.